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The Bargainer #1
Rhapsodic
Callypso Lillis is a siren with a very big problem, one that stretches up her arm and far into her past. For the last seven years she’s been collecting a bracelet of black beads up her wrist, magical IOUs for favors she’s received. Only death or repayment will fulfill the obligations. Only then will the beads disappear.
Everyone knows that if you need a favor, you go to the Bargainer to make it happen. He’s a man who can get you anything you want... at a price. And everyone knows that sooner or later he always collects.
But for one of his clients, he’s never asked for repayment. Not until now. When Callie finds the fae king of the night in her room, a grin on his lips and a twinkle in his eye, she knows things are about to change. At first it’s just a chaste kiss—a single bead’s worth—and a promise for more.
For the Bargainer, it’s more than just a matter of rekindling an old romance. Something is happening in the Otherworld. Fae warriors are going missing one by one. Only the women are returned, each in a glass casket, a child clutched to their breast. And then there are the whispers among the slaves, whispers of an evil that’s been awoken.
If the Bargainer has any hope to save his people, he’ll need the help of the siren he spurned long ago. Only, his foe has a taste for exotic creatures, and Callie just happens to be one.
Everyone knows that if you need a favor, you go to the Bargainer to make it happen. He’s a man who can get you anything you want... at a price. And everyone knows that sooner or later he always collects.
But for one of his clients, he’s never asked for repayment. Not until now. When Callie finds the fae king of the night in her room, a grin on his lips and a twinkle in his eye, she knows things are about to change. At first it’s just a chaste kiss—a single bead’s worth—and a promise for more.
For the Bargainer, it’s more than just a matter of rekindling an old romance. Something is happening in the Otherworld. Fae warriors are going missing one by one. Only the women are returned, each in a glass casket, a child clutched to their breast. And then there are the whispers among the slaves, whispers of an evil that’s been awoken.
If the Bargainer has any hope to save his people, he’ll need the help of the siren he spurned long ago. Only, his foe has a taste for exotic creatures, and Callie just happens to be one.
407 pages, Paperback
First published November 15, 2016
14.4k people are currently reading
233k people want to read
About the author
Laura Thalassa
59books24.1kfollowersFound in the forest when she was young, Laura Thalassa was raised by fairies, kidnapped by werewolves, and given over to vampires as repayment for a hundred year debt. She’s been brought back to life twice, and, with a single kiss, she woke her true love from eternal sleep. She now lives happily ever after with her undead prince in a castle in the woods.
… or something like that anyway.
When not writing, Laura can be found scarfing down guacamole, hoarding chocolate for the apocalypse, or curled up on the couch with a good book.
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… or something like that anyway.
When not writing, Laura can be found scarfing down guacamole, hoarding chocolate for the apocalypse, or curled up on the couch with a good book.
Never want to miss a release? Sign up for my newsletter
Like to discuss my books? Join my Facebook fan page
Official Site: http://www.laurathalassa.com/
Newsletter:
https://laurathalassa.myflodesk.com/newsletter
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/LauraThalassa/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/LauraThalassa
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Google+: https://plus.google.com/+LauraThalassa/
Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Laura-Thalassa/e/B00DN9YA3S/
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 16,380 reviews
May 13, 2025
“‘Bargainer, I would like to make a deal.’”
FAST FORWARD SEVEN YEARS
“I know why he’s here. This is it, the moment I’ve been waiting seven years for.
I exhale. “You’re finally here to collect.”
HOLY SHIT THAT WAS AN AMAZING START!!!
We go from past teenage Callie~trying to survive AfTeR MURDE to present Callie~ badass detective who basically owes her life to the Bargainer.... *and I oop*
The Bargainer aka Des is a LEGEND within the supernatural world. Speak his name and you can bargain for what you want most in the world. But the bill must be paid.
Enter present-day Callie owes 322 debts so as she be struggling thru that, we get sneak peaks of the past and how she ended up with so many debts
“In response I slam my door shut in his face. Probably not the wisest way to deal with the King of the Night, but right now I don’t really care too much.”
And now our heroine Callie. Oh Callie, what shall I say about you.
She’s just so flippant about everything ! And it was amazing to notice such a distinct and definite change between Callie’s past and present POVS
“I lean in close to his ear, shifting my hips until I hear him groan. “Seven years, you f*cker,” I say—or rather, the siren says, since she’s leading the show at this point.”
Something I absolutely ADORED about this book was, there was such a strong sense of time passing and this made her world building 100000000X better. We knew exactly what time frame we were in, what events to focus on, AND it all worked to really create the book world itself so we felt like we were in it! Witnessing the past Callie first learning about Des's world and then present Callie mastering the rules to play her own game.
My favorite FAVORITE thing about this book was you totally saw how their dynamic changed from the years- both characters obviously changed and developed.
Des and Callie went from indifferent strangers, to tentative friends, to best friends, to distant enemies, to friends, to lovers. You read about the present with scenes in the past just wAiTiNg and hoping to figure out what FUCKING changed!?
Now the comedic side-kick, Temper Darling:
Little disappointed in the "bestie" who's entire existence rested on giving advice and info to move the plot along. At first, the girls had a cool dynamic and she seems really powerful ! But she kinda fades away sadly. * RIP Temper Screentime* Maybe more in book 2? Show some of her badass witchery stuff?
“She answers on the first ring. “Where the fuck are you girl?” she says, panicked.
“I’m back at home.”
“Home? Home?” Her voice rises. “Your house was ransacked, there’s a bounty out for your capture, and you’re home?”
And now Des the Bargainer. My Des<---
I would actually KILL for another book of these events but from Des's perspective. Just so so so good.
His character really evolves from the original arrogant prick who first sees a 16 year old asking him to get rid of a dead body and simply responds with ~i don't work with minors~
"What are you doing?” Stan demands. I can see the whites of his eyes.
“We’re going to visit the Otherworld.” Des unlocks the driver’s side door. “And once we get there, I’m going to feed you to the scariest motherfuckers I know.”
I love him so much, he is a total morally grey character that embraces his monster tendencies in the most wickedly delicious ways. His relationship with Callie is so well developed. He knows Callie as a victim, killer, broken girl, self-sufficient woman, detective, and general badass. He's seen it alll and he keeps coming back for her.
Oh, and Des is also (To be perfectly honest I just wanted him to be the Bargainer. It seemed like a way more interestinng unique position within the world but whatever)
The best part of this book was the unique TWIST to the cliche fey world for fey, when they meet their mate, their wings more uncontrollable and just keep popping out something about a sign of trust
SO THEN
TEMPER LOSES HER SHIT AND WAS all LIKE SERIOUSly CALLIE !!
He stops in front of me, looking a little menacing. And I don’t give two shits. I poke him in the chest. “Were. You?”
Are you telling me theres character development, interesting relationships, and a motherfucking intense plot to go with it?!? Its must be my birthday!
“Gaelia shakes her head manically. “He’s just a shadow … just a shadow.”
“Where is he?” Des asks.
She shivers, not even bothering to fight our questions anymore. “Everywhere.”
Her words raise my gooseflesh.
“Do you know his name?” I ask.
“Thief of Souls,” she mutters. “Thief of Souls.”
“What does he want?” the Bargainer growls.
Her eyes meet ours. “Everything.”
I totally recommend checking out this book especially if you are a fan of hot alpha types with wings paired up with equally violent sassy heroine.
Callie justs got her whole world turned upside down and is no longer the most powerful. At least for now.
“He dips his mouth close to my ear. “Cherub, people like us are not victims. We’re someone’s nightmare.”
I’m not a victim.
I’m not a victim.
How had I forgotten this? Because, somewhere along the way, I had forgotten. And it nearly broke me.
My eyes move to Des. “Teach me again how to be someone’s nightmare.”
LITERARLLY WHAT A FREAKING FUCKING BOOK ALL THIS AMAZING SHIT ALL FOR ME????? GOD IM SO EXCITED FOR BOOK 2!!!
July 4, 2021
still my go-to mood read for when i am wanting some quick, entertaining fantasy and a guy with wings. lol.
________________________
uh oh. someone please admit me into rehab because i am A D D I C T E D.
i started this last night, just wanting to read a couple of chapters before bed. and the next thing i knew, it was 2.30am and my eyes were glued to each page. i swear this book is a drug, with each chapter feeling like taking hit. i just couldnt put it down.
this is far from perfect. the writing is nothing special and the world building is lacking, but goodness me. this story is exactly what i needed. fellow mood readers will know the feeling, of finally finding a story that hits the right spot and what a relief that is. i guess paranormal romance and men with wings is my kink and im not even sorry. 🙃
↠ 5 stars
________________________
uh oh. someone please admit me into rehab because i am A D D I C T E D.
i started this last night, just wanting to read a couple of chapters before bed. and the next thing i knew, it was 2.30am and my eyes were glued to each page. i swear this book is a drug, with each chapter feeling like taking hit. i just couldnt put it down.
this is far from perfect. the writing is nothing special and the world building is lacking, but goodness me. this story is exactly what i needed. fellow mood readers will know the feeling, of finally finding a story that hits the right spot and what a relief that is. i guess paranormal romance and men with wings is my kink and im not even sorry. 🙃
↠ 5 stars
October 18, 2021
This was one of those stories that takes you by surprise. I had never heard of this author and wasn't expecting to like this book as much as I did. I had already braced myself for disappointment. Was I ever wrong! This book ended up being great!
The first book in 'The Bargainer' series, 'Rhapsodic' was a terrific love story. It had plenty of romance and angst, as well as danger and adventure. It was sweet, without being overly cheesy and had just enough tension to keep me on the edge of my seat.
Callypso "Callie" Lillis is a siren. As a teenager, she makes an impulsive decision, which could have dire consequences for her. Desperate for help, she calls upon the Bargainer, aka the Lord of the Night, to use his magic to clean up behind her.
From that point forward, she and the Bargainer form an unlikely friendship. As Callie grows into a young lady, going to college and entering her early adulthood, the Bargainer is her closest companion and only friend. She falls in love with him. Then, he disappears from her life for years.
Callie has done her best to put the Bargainer behind her. She has had several relationships, trying to move on and forget him. Nothing has worked. To make matters worse, Callie knows that the Bargainer always shows up to collect a debt and she owes him more than anyone else alive.
When the Bargainer finally shows up to collect Callie's debt, she is forced to comply. Fae warriors are disappearing and the women are returned in glass coffins, a creepy new breed of children along with them. Nobody is talking. Whatever evil is behind this is even more feared than the wrath of the Bargainer, something that is almost unfathomable.
As Callie works with the Bargainer to get to the bottom of whatever is going on, it becomes harder and harder to deny her feelings. No man has ever held her attention like him. To further complicate matters, it seems that she has caught the attention of the same thing that is responsible for the females' disappearances. The Bargainer will have to work diligently to keep her safe.
From start to finish, this book held my attention. I was drawn to this futuristic world that Ms. Thalassa created. It was magical. It was highly entertaining. There was just enough action to keep me on the edge of my seat, while there was plenty of romance to hold my interest. I will definitely be looking forward to the next book in this series to see how things work out for Callie and Desmond, aka the Bargainer.
The first book in 'The Bargainer' series, 'Rhapsodic' was a terrific love story. It had plenty of romance and angst, as well as danger and adventure. It was sweet, without being overly cheesy and had just enough tension to keep me on the edge of my seat.
Callypso "Callie" Lillis is a siren. As a teenager, she makes an impulsive decision, which could have dire consequences for her. Desperate for help, she calls upon the Bargainer, aka the Lord of the Night, to use his magic to clean up behind her.
From that point forward, she and the Bargainer form an unlikely friendship. As Callie grows into a young lady, going to college and entering her early adulthood, the Bargainer is her closest companion and only friend. She falls in love with him. Then, he disappears from her life for years.
Callie has done her best to put the Bargainer behind her. She has had several relationships, trying to move on and forget him. Nothing has worked. To make matters worse, Callie knows that the Bargainer always shows up to collect a debt and she owes him more than anyone else alive.
When the Bargainer finally shows up to collect Callie's debt, she is forced to comply. Fae warriors are disappearing and the women are returned in glass coffins, a creepy new breed of children along with them. Nobody is talking. Whatever evil is behind this is even more feared than the wrath of the Bargainer, something that is almost unfathomable.
As Callie works with the Bargainer to get to the bottom of whatever is going on, it becomes harder and harder to deny her feelings. No man has ever held her attention like him. To further complicate matters, it seems that she has caught the attention of the same thing that is responsible for the females' disappearances. The Bargainer will have to work diligently to keep her safe.
From start to finish, this book held my attention. I was drawn to this futuristic world that Ms. Thalassa created. It was magical. It was highly entertaining. There was just enough action to keep me on the edge of my seat, while there was plenty of romance to hold my interest. I will definitely be looking forward to the next book in this series to see how things work out for Callie and Desmond, aka the Bargainer.
March 26, 2021
The more I think about this book, the more it annoys me.. How it can have above a 4. rating is beyond me.
My biggest pet peeve when it comes to books is an author saying that a character is a certain way instead of actually showing it during the book. Or worse, saying a character is a certain way and then showing us the exact opposite!
Sure you are, cinnamon bun..
We see the siren about 2-3 times during the book? And not once is she this monster she's described to be, which I found disappointing. Why introduce a cool element if you're not going to use it? Maybe she'll make more of an appearance in the other books, but it's safe to say I'll never find out..
And the final part of the book was just a big eye roll for me...
I've hidden why with a spoiler warning.
I get why people compare The Bargainer series to A Court of Thorns and Roses, but the latter is miles above this one in my opinion.. And if you're looking for a badass and powered PI you could just watch Jessica Jones instead.
I was planning to write a propper review for this book, but it's been three months since I finished it, and I just feel like moving on to new stories.
My biggest pet peeve when it comes to books is an author saying that a character is a certain way instead of actually showing it during the book. Or worse, saying a character is a certain way and then showing us the exact opposite!
He stares into my eyes. “I am the scariest thing out here. And if anything tries to touch you, they will reckon with me.”
Sure you are, cinnamon bun..
Most of the time I’m simply Callie the PI. But when I need to use my power, another side of me surfaces. The siren is the monster inside of me; she wants to take, and take, and take. To wreak havoc, to feast on her victims’ fear and lust.
We see the siren about 2-3 times during the book? And not once is she this monster she's described to be, which I found disappointing. Why introduce a cool element if you're not going to use it? Maybe she'll make more of an appearance in the other books, but it's safe to say I'll never find out..
And the final part of the book was just a big eye roll for me...
I've hidden why with a spoiler warning.
I get why people compare The Bargainer series to A Court of Thorns and Roses, but the latter is miles above this one in my opinion.. And if you're looking for a badass and powered PI you could just watch Jessica Jones instead.
I was planning to write a propper review for this book, but it's been three months since I finished it, and I just feel like moving on to new stories.
February 18, 2020
How I happened upon this book:
Me: *obsessing over finishing The Wicked King in less than 24 hours and nearly passing away because I know I have to wait a year for the next one*
Friend: “I need you to read this book. It has a fantasy world AND a modern world, kind of like that Cruel Prince book you told me about.”
Me: “No. I can’t go on. I’m not ready for anything new. I have to mourn.”
Friend: “Okay, well just let me know when you’re ready. This one is a lot like ACOTAR, including an excellent slow burn romance.”
Me: “Is there sex in it?”
Friend: Ԩ.”
Me: “Like Chapter 55?”
Friend: “W, nothing can be as good as Chapt—”
Me: ٴDZ.”
I legitimately enjoyed this book. I laughed out loud at the banter, made the 😏 face during the flirty scenes, and constantly questioned why Callie can’t be a real person so I can be best friends with her.
Basically, this was fun AF to read. I loved it.
And that’s not even because previously mentioned banter included the comeback, “Ten points to Slytherin.”
(Though, HP references always help. Always.)
(See what I did there?)
Me: *obsessing over finishing The Wicked King in less than 24 hours and nearly passing away because I know I have to wait a year for the next one*
Friend: “I need you to read this book. It has a fantasy world AND a modern world, kind of like that Cruel Prince book you told me about.”
Me: “No. I can’t go on. I’m not ready for anything new. I have to mourn.”
Friend: “Okay, well just let me know when you’re ready. This one is a lot like ACOTAR, including an excellent slow burn romance.”
Me: “Is there sex in it?”
Friend: Ԩ.”
Me: “Like Chapter 55?”
Friend: “W, nothing can be as good as Chapt—”
Me: ٴDZ.”
I legitimately enjoyed this book. I laughed out loud at the banter, made the 😏 face during the flirty scenes, and constantly questioned why Callie can’t be a real person so I can be best friends with her.
Basically, this was fun AF to read. I loved it.
And that’s not even because previously mentioned banter included the comeback, “Ten points to Slytherin.”
(Though, HP references always help. Always.)
(See what I did there?)
May 21, 2020
3 Stars
After sleeping on this, I am deciding to go with a straight 3-star rating here.
Now, let me start off by saying that everyone and their mother has been recommending this book to me for years. Close to four years to be exact, being that this was published in November of 2016. Now, I definitely like recommendations...especially from those with whom I chat frequently and who know what I like. But sometimes, when something is recommended to me so frequently...it starts to feel like homework and I become childlike in my reluctance to NOT read it.
And then I have to wait.
For that "homework" feeling to fade. For that inner asshole telling me to NOT read something I would probably like, but am not, out of completely baseless spite to shut the fuck up.
So that's what I did. I waited until that feeling faded. Until I was ready.
Which happened at approximately 5pm last night after I had been battling a migraine all day.
Which brings me to now.
I enjoyed this book...but I wasn't necessarily enthralled by it, which I will be the first to admit really surprised me. I mean, this book has a lot of elements in it that are right up my alley.
Supernatural beings - especially a Siren...and I am always here for anything fae...
Loved you since childhood shtick...
A hot alpha-male who basically looks like the Witcher...
I'm here for it all.
So while I did enjoy it (3-stars is a good rating, people!) I also have no idea why I didn't love it more.
But I will endeavor to try to think of a couple reasons.
I think the world-building was a little weak in some areas, which left me feeling a little adrift...But mostly, I felt like the H went from tough and reticent...to overly lovey-dovey milk toast WAY too fast for my liking.
Also, unfortunately, I feel like my reluctance to read this sooner also played into me not liking this more. I think had I read this in 2016 (when it came out and people starting singing about it), I would have enjoyed it a lot more; however, at this point I think I have just read too many things with similar elements. So, my bad.
Otherwise, I do see myself continuing to book two sometime in the future - a decision solely predicated on the fact that it's available via Kindle Unlimited. I think if it wasn't...I would probably skip it, if I'm honest.
That said, I think anyone who has been thinking about reading this for some time (like I was) should go ahead and give it a go - especially if you already have it on your kindle or whatever reading platform you use. I really do think I would have liked it better had I read it earlier or simply been in a different mood.
After sleeping on this, I am deciding to go with a straight 3-star rating here.
Now, let me start off by saying that everyone and their mother has been recommending this book to me for years. Close to four years to be exact, being that this was published in November of 2016. Now, I definitely like recommendations...especially from those with whom I chat frequently and who know what I like. But sometimes, when something is recommended to me so frequently...it starts to feel like homework and I become childlike in my reluctance to NOT read it.
And then I have to wait.
For that "homework" feeling to fade. For that inner asshole telling me to NOT read something I would probably like, but am not, out of completely baseless spite to shut the fuck up.
So that's what I did. I waited until that feeling faded. Until I was ready.
Which happened at approximately 5pm last night after I had been battling a migraine all day.
Which brings me to now.
I enjoyed this book...but I wasn't necessarily enthralled by it, which I will be the first to admit really surprised me. I mean, this book has a lot of elements in it that are right up my alley.
Supernatural beings - especially a Siren...and I am always here for anything fae...
Loved you since childhood shtick...
A hot alpha-male who basically looks like the Witcher...
I'm here for it all.
So while I did enjoy it (3-stars is a good rating, people!) I also have no idea why I didn't love it more.
But I will endeavor to try to think of a couple reasons.
I think the world-building was a little weak in some areas, which left me feeling a little adrift...But mostly, I felt like the H went from tough and reticent...to overly lovey-dovey milk toast WAY too fast for my liking.
Also, unfortunately, I feel like my reluctance to read this sooner also played into me not liking this more. I think had I read this in 2016 (when it came out and people starting singing about it), I would have enjoyed it a lot more; however, at this point I think I have just read too many things with similar elements. So, my bad.
Otherwise, I do see myself continuing to book two sometime in the future - a decision solely predicated on the fact that it's available via Kindle Unlimited. I think if it wasn't...I would probably skip it, if I'm honest.
That said, I think anyone who has been thinking about reading this for some time (like I was) should go ahead and give it a go - especially if you already have it on your kindle or whatever reading platform you use. I really do think I would have liked it better had I read it earlier or simply been in a different mood.
January 23, 2021
this was the most dumbest fucking book I’ve ever read. It’s only getting two stars because I enjoyed the story but I hate these characters. Besides the plot- this book is very problematic. The one black character is tokenized and every stereotype against black woman is thrown at her. there are so many examples of grooming that it made it so uncomfortable. I ain’t reading the shit ever again
November 17, 2022
hm. this was fun but definitely corny. really leaned into the fanfic-y nature which i at times appreciated and other times cringed at. the ending specifically was what really made it cheesy to me.
also didn't really love the dialogue/dialect choices for Temper... i think general rule of thumb for white authors is that if you're writing a character who is presumably Black or a person of color you should just stick with what you know. you don't need every line of dialogue to start with "Girl."
i think if you're looking for something that feels akin to A Court of Ass & Titties or whatever, this will probably do it for you. callie is a little less irritating than feyre and des is literally rhysand in a blonde font.
also didn't really love the dialogue/dialect choices for Temper... i think general rule of thumb for white authors is that if you're writing a character who is presumably Black or a person of color you should just stick with what you know. you don't need every line of dialogue to start with "Girl."
i think if you're looking for something that feels akin to A Court of Ass & Titties or whatever, this will probably do it for you. callie is a little less irritating than feyre and des is literally rhysand in a blonde font.
May 20, 2024
Rhapsodic is a breathtaking and sexy fantasy romance!
Thalassa has penned a decadent tale of dark sorcery, an illicit romance, and an immortal passion. When I delighted in the audiobook, I found myself entrenched in a world full of creatures from fables and it concealed terrible secrets within every shadow.
Audiobook version:
What makes "Rhapsodic" unique compared to typical romances is that it is a perfect combination of both romance and supernatural thriller. Thalassa is a master of utilizing adjectives and her rich imagery sucks the readers into a world of fairies, demons, and warlocks. With a spine-tingling mystery and heart-melting passion, "Rhapsodic" will keep you on the edge of your seat.
I would recommend "Rhapsodic" to any reader who enjoys fantasy romance... and to those who may not be. It creates a unique listening experience that will transport you to a land filled with magic and romance. It's a spellbinding listening voyage and you're sure to desire more from Laura Thalassa in the future. So prepare your headphones and set your imagination soar to the captivating world of a fantasy romance.
Thalassa has penned a decadent tale of dark sorcery, an illicit romance, and an immortal passion. When I delighted in the audiobook, I found myself entrenched in a world full of creatures from fables and it concealed terrible secrets within every shadow.
Audiobook version:
What makes "Rhapsodic" unique compared to typical romances is that it is a perfect combination of both romance and supernatural thriller. Thalassa is a master of utilizing adjectives and her rich imagery sucks the readers into a world of fairies, demons, and warlocks. With a spine-tingling mystery and heart-melting passion, "Rhapsodic" will keep you on the edge of your seat.
I would recommend "Rhapsodic" to any reader who enjoys fantasy romance... and to those who may not be. It creates a unique listening experience that will transport you to a land filled with magic and romance. It's a spellbinding listening voyage and you're sure to desire more from Laura Thalassa in the future. So prepare your headphones and set your imagination soar to the captivating world of a fantasy romance.
Read
November 15, 2016Happy reading! <3
April 30, 2020
DNF 66%. One of the worst books I’ve ever read. Literally every chapter is just a thrown together scene to get the two main characters to happen upon each other for some eye-rolling heavy petting, that is not at all hot, and is not a build-up to root for whatsoever.
It’s the “ooooh-he-is-sooooo-bad-I-shouldn’t-want-him-but-he’s-soooo-hot”. Main boi is supposed to be so dark, so, so, so bad, stay away but literally he’s just running her baths with candles and Epsom salts and stocking his freezer with her favorite ice cream.
Wow. So. Bad.
Oh but wait! He’s “bad” in the every-other-chapter-flashbacks where he’s like a mob-guy, makes deals, and beats dudes up sometimes.
BTFU, I thought he was a Fae-King? The wtf is he coming across like a beefy-Fabio thug, hanging around downtown?? Ew no.
If you’re going to do Faerie. You better freaking do Faerie all the way .
Honestly I just wanted The Cruel Prince but like with some more fucking. *Ahem* sorry not sorry. This is why I write fanfiction.
I’ve read better on Wattpad.
Thank you, next.
It’s the “ooooh-he-is-sooooo-bad-I-shouldn’t-want-him-but-he’s-soooo-hot”. Main boi is supposed to be so dark, so, so, so bad, stay away but literally he’s just running her baths with candles and Epsom salts and stocking his freezer with her favorite ice cream.
Wow. So. Bad.
Oh but wait! He’s “bad” in the every-other-chapter-flashbacks where he’s like a mob-guy, makes deals, and beats dudes up sometimes.
BTFU, I thought he was a Fae-King? The wtf is he coming across like a beefy-Fabio thug, hanging around downtown?? Ew no.
If you’re going to do Faerie. You better freaking do Faerie all the way .
Honestly I just wanted The Cruel Prince but like with some more fucking. *Ahem* sorry not sorry. This is why I write fanfiction.
I’ve read better on Wattpad.
Thank you, next.
October 29, 2017
Testing the "one sentence review" concept in order to update my lame book-year before December...
What Rhysand and Feyre would have been if written by JL Armentrout on a very lazy day.
What Rhysand and Feyre would have been if written by JL Armentrout on a very lazy day.
January 18, 2023
5 STARS
I haven’t read a whole lot of paranormal romances this year but this one was really well done and the romance aspect of the story was simply delicious!
The story is told in the past to present scenario as a young Callypso Lillis, a siren, living in our world calls on the Bargainer, the Lord of the Night for his help. Each time she calls on him or asks for his help she acquires another bead on her IOU bracelet. In the present, the Bargainer/Desmond Flynn has appeared after not seeing Callie for seven years and he’s here to collect on those IOUs. The connection between Callie and Des is fantastically written and so believable.
”You have over three hundred favors to repay me. By the time we’re done, you will realize that Eli and all those other men were just a dissatisfying dream. That this, and only this, is real.”
Des needs Callie’s help with a big mystery involving casket children and a catatonic woman in the Other World. These two once best friends seem to be mending fences and in the past, we enjoy the development of their relationship when she was a young girl. The story makes for a truly wonderful romance. While the mystery was well done and will have me excited to read on in this series to see what happens next.
"A fairy doesn't show his wings to his betrothed...A fairy shows them to his soulmate."
The couple isn’t cliffhangered but the mystery of the storyline is if that makes sense. Overall, a great read that clicked all the boxes for me and I highly recommend it's also currently on KU!
I haven’t read a whole lot of paranormal romances this year but this one was really well done and the romance aspect of the story was simply delicious!
The story is told in the past to present scenario as a young Callypso Lillis, a siren, living in our world calls on the Bargainer, the Lord of the Night for his help. Each time she calls on him or asks for his help she acquires another bead on her IOU bracelet. In the present, the Bargainer/Desmond Flynn has appeared after not seeing Callie for seven years and he’s here to collect on those IOUs. The connection between Callie and Des is fantastically written and so believable.
”You have over three hundred favors to repay me. By the time we’re done, you will realize that Eli and all those other men were just a dissatisfying dream. That this, and only this, is real.”
Des needs Callie’s help with a big mystery involving casket children and a catatonic woman in the Other World. These two once best friends seem to be mending fences and in the past, we enjoy the development of their relationship when she was a young girl. The story makes for a truly wonderful romance. While the mystery was well done and will have me excited to read on in this series to see what happens next.
"A fairy doesn't show his wings to his betrothed...A fairy shows them to his soulmate."
The couple isn’t cliffhangered but the mystery of the storyline is if that makes sense. Overall, a great read that clicked all the boxes for me and I highly recommend it's also currently on KU!
May 13, 2020
EDIT 5/12/20
I'm sorry, but I just read a misleading review, and had to update to provide honest safety info, and set the record straight:
HONEST SAFETY STATS
Age difference:
Older H. Flashbacks to the time h was a underage, she's in her twenties at present, he's hundreds of years old.
OW:
OM: If you read the amazon sample you'll see that
Cheating: NO and I'm gonna be annoyingly loud about this:
NO cheating
NO cheating
NO cheating
H never cheated on h
h never cheated on H
h's werewolf "boyfriend", who is barely mentioned before she breaks up with him in chapter 3 deserved no respect, no loyalty, nothing at all. H must have killed him. Callie's exboyfriend was a possessive, controlling jerk.
Virgin heroine: No
Separation: The book is written in time-jumps from past to present, and after the prologue, every chapter features H. So although there's a 7 years separation, this is not the kind of book that leaves you wanting more of H.
Triggers: THERE ARE NO Detailed descriptions of sexual assault.
THERE ARE NO Detailed descriptions of sexual assault.
THERE ARE NO Detailed descriptions of sexual assault.
To be fair, what is detailed for you might not be detailed for me. My point of reference would be other books in the fantasy genre that need TW's for sexual violence. The first 2 chapters of Golden Dinasty by Kristie Alley are detailed descriptions of violence and rape. It's really in your face how in that book h kept saying no and H continued. doesn't contain anything like that. It's part of the tragic past of h, but it's never detailed, never in your face and it plays only in the background of Callie's past. Maybe I need to reread, but if recall well, If you'd skip the prologue sexual assault wouldn't even play in the book at all. This book, although contains some darkness, is for the most part an enjoyable, escapist read.
HEA?
I suggest ignoring the "safety" reviews and instead reading the amazon sample because
I invite anyone who has dismissed this book out of concern of potential "unsafe" qualities, to read the kindle sample. It won't take you longer than reading the reviews, and it won't cost a thing. The most potentially "unsafe" elements depending on what you consider OM are there and after passing the first 3 chapters the book is 100% safe. No cheating no OM, no OW. There aren't a lot of safe books out there, so it's tragic that many people are turning their back on a safe/safe with exceptions book like this one. This book is great. If you devote a few minutes of your time to read the sample and you think it's not safe enough for you, then that's it. But if you enjoy safe reads and anti-heroes I think you won't be able to put the book down.
To the few reviewers that are using their reviews platform to mislead people into thinking that there's cheating in this book:
SHAME
ON
YOU
The safety tags are supposed to help us find safe books. They shouldn't be used to mislead readers.
====
Original review
Wow, this was incredible.
I'm sorry, but I just read a misleading review, and had to update to provide honest safety info, and set the record straight:
HONEST SAFETY STATS
Age difference:
Older H. Flashbacks to the time h was a underage, she's in her twenties at present, he's hundreds of years old.
OW:
OM: If you read the amazon sample you'll see that
Cheating: NO and I'm gonna be annoyingly loud about this:
NO cheating
NO cheating
NO cheating
H never cheated on h
h never cheated on H
h's werewolf "boyfriend", who is barely mentioned before she breaks up with him in chapter 3 deserved no respect, no loyalty, nothing at all. H must have killed him. Callie's exboyfriend was a possessive, controlling jerk.
Virgin heroine: No
Separation: The book is written in time-jumps from past to present, and after the prologue, every chapter features H. So although there's a 7 years separation, this is not the kind of book that leaves you wanting more of H.
Triggers: THERE ARE NO Detailed descriptions of sexual assault.
THERE ARE NO Detailed descriptions of sexual assault.
THERE ARE NO Detailed descriptions of sexual assault.
To be fair, what is detailed for you might not be detailed for me. My point of reference would be other books in the fantasy genre that need TW's for sexual violence. The first 2 chapters of Golden Dinasty by Kristie Alley are detailed descriptions of violence and rape. It's really in your face how in that book h kept saying no and H continued. doesn't contain anything like that. It's part of the tragic past of h, but it's never detailed, never in your face and it plays only in the background of Callie's past. Maybe I need to reread, but if recall well, If you'd skip the prologue sexual assault wouldn't even play in the book at all. This book, although contains some darkness, is for the most part an enjoyable, escapist read.
HEA?
I suggest ignoring the "safety" reviews and instead reading the amazon sample because
I invite anyone who has dismissed this book out of concern of potential "unsafe" qualities, to read the kindle sample. It won't take you longer than reading the reviews, and it won't cost a thing. The most potentially "unsafe" elements depending on what you consider OM are there and after passing the first 3 chapters the book is 100% safe. No cheating no OM, no OW. There aren't a lot of safe books out there, so it's tragic that many people are turning their back on a safe/safe with exceptions book like this one. This book is great. If you devote a few minutes of your time to read the sample and you think it's not safe enough for you, then that's it. But if you enjoy safe reads and anti-heroes I think you won't be able to put the book down.
To the few reviewers that are using their reviews platform to mislead people into thinking that there's cheating in this book:
SHAME
ON
YOU
The safety tags are supposed to help us find safe books. They shouldn't be used to mislead readers.
====
Original review
Wow, this was incredible.
October 6, 2022
My breath catches in my throat as my gaze meets his. The way he looks at me, the way his thumb is rubbing circles into the soft skin of my hand... I know why he's here. On some level, I knew it since I first caught sight of him on my bed. This is it, the moment I've been waiting seven years for. I exhale. "You're finally here to collect."
It's ironic that I found this a breath of fresh air when it's basically ACOTAR fan fiction, but for some reason this really worked for me. It was an easy, breezy read, and a super sexy romp. I'm hit or miss with urban fantasy, but again, this one really worked for me. Excited to see where the story continues, as I hear it becomes more original from book 2.
"Whatever parts of him I got all those years ago when he visited me, those were something else. Back then, I had only seen his wicked side, his dirty deeds. I'd never seen his righteousness... Labels can be dangerous, dangerous things, even when they're seemingly desirable."
Buddy read with my sis Irina in honor of resurrecting our KU memberships for 3 months.
It's ironic that I found this a breath of fresh air when it's basically ACOTAR fan fiction, but for some reason this really worked for me. It was an easy, breezy read, and a super sexy romp. I'm hit or miss with urban fantasy, but again, this one really worked for me. Excited to see where the story continues, as I hear it becomes more original from book 2.
"Whatever parts of him I got all those years ago when he visited me, those were something else. Back then, I had only seen his wicked side, his dirty deeds. I'd never seen his righteousness... Labels can be dangerous, dangerous things, even when they're seemingly desirable."
Buddy read with my sis Irina in honor of resurrecting our KU memberships for 3 months.
February 5, 2023
1 star? 2 stars? I feel like rating a book 1 star means I hated it and while I did not hate Rhapsodic, I couldn’t find one thing to like. It was extremely MEH. Nothing new, nothing hot, nothing that drew me to the characters. It’s one of the books I genuinely do not understand what other people liked about it. I kept pushing myself to finish it hoping it’ll get better. It didn’t.
There are 2 types of dnf:
-one you’re still curious about the end but have no energy left
- another you simply know if you didn’t continue the book you will forget about its existence in no time. Even after finishing this book, it left NOTHING with me. I know I’ll forget about it the next day.
Waste of time. And this is one of the worst things I can feel of a book that I wasted my time by reading it. So that’s why I’ll settle on 1 star even though I don’t give many of those anymore. And to think so many people recommended me this book... the characters were very dull and the story not so interesting. I expected a slow burn romance and to feel or care at least about the characters.. yet none of that happens. I was just relieved I finished the book. I read it after reading supposedly a similar read. Nope. Not at all.
There are 2 types of dnf:
-one you’re still curious about the end but have no energy left
- another you simply know if you didn’t continue the book you will forget about its existence in no time. Even after finishing this book, it left NOTHING with me. I know I’ll forget about it the next day.
Waste of time. And this is one of the worst things I can feel of a book that I wasted my time by reading it. So that’s why I’ll settle on 1 star even though I don’t give many of those anymore. And to think so many people recommended me this book... the characters were very dull and the story not so interesting. I expected a slow burn romance and to feel or care at least about the characters.. yet none of that happens. I was just relieved I finished the book. I read it after reading supposedly a similar read. Nope. Not at all.
May 1, 2019
HENRY CAVILL AS DESMOND, THE BARGAINER
SAFE READ RECOMMENDATION
SAFE READ RECOMMENDATION
SAFE READ RECOMMENDATION I don't know about the sequels but this one is safe of OW AND I haven't found anything that suggests OW in sequels, I'll keep looking
Thank you everyone who recommended this book to me and my dear Shari for the safety info. I would've never given this book a chance without the feedback of my trusted friends.
Update and Review 02-24-2019
I wrote a longer review to recommend this brilliant book and lost it! All I can say for now is that this book is safe: meaning no cheating, no ow (sexual activity with other woman) and while the older, more experienced hero sleeps around. In fact, it looks as though he was the one who Nothing graphic with but in case OM activity after meeting is your trigger, I recommend reading the Amazon sample first. You'll find all the OM activity in the first pages and it's never graphic, If you don't like OM and the sample doesn't turn you off you'll be good to go, the rest of the book is really good. Outstanding, beautiful.
I'll add really quickly that I WISH THERE WERE MORE BOOKS LIKE THIS ONE. If you read my review of SPEAK or if you have come across my rants against the way authors feature rape in their "romance" books you'll know that CONSENT IS A HUGE DEAL FOR ME. I'm tired of seeing rape culture messages all over ϻӮ when I come here to have fun. I want to thank Laura Thalassa for writing a RELATABLE abuse victim WHO reacts realistic to her experience, someone who doesn't get cured when the "magic" penis gets into action and who isn't defined by what happened to her in her childhood. There are so many times when authors add rape just for the sake of drama and then the victim moves on as though nothing happened and that's unrealistic not to mention dangerous message.
There's also the "hero" is the/a rapist or the rapist is "a good person in other aspects" or "she moved on from the experience". Victims react in many different forms, rapists heroes have nothing to do in books labelled as romance and NO YOU NEVER FORGET WHAT HAPPENED, BUT MANY OF US DON'T GET DEFINED BY THE EXPERIENCE. I though Thalassa handled a triggering subject in a beautiful way, it's never central, it's not there for the sake of creating drama, and it never appears in a way that makes me think it's just there for sympathy.
In this era of "rapists" heroes against which many of my safety gang friends have written angry rants , what Thalassa did makes me love this book more. She did it so BEAUTIFULLY in this first book, that I'm afraid of reading the sequels but I know I will get down to them eventually, maybe right before War (second book of the four horseman series, which is coming out this year) is available.
Desmond is adorable. He reminds me of Rhys at his best which was books 1 and 2 of Court of Thorns series, the character was ruined FOR ME afterwards but he'll always have a place in my heart. Desmond is equally adorable, maybe better because even though Callie is a strong woman he never gets overpowered by her. Callie is a siren with the power to bend men to her will and as a bargainer Desmond pushes the boundaries of what's acceptable and not. If that's not your thing perhaps this book won't be for you but overall, as far as this book goes for me the power balance between those two worked perfectly. He might be older but she's smart and stubborn. I love heroines that aren't doormats.
Desmond I love that about him. He's also a morally ambiguous King and I can't have enough of morally ambiguous rulers.
So I'm recommending this first book of what seems to be a safe series to all my friends. I'm tired of rapists heroes and unsafe romace, but I haven't read the sequels so I don't know how this will play later so take my enthusiastic recommendations with a grain of salt. I still believe this is a great book, for me this was better than Thalassa's pestilence although most of my friends seem to like Pestilence more.
By the way. If you want to try a first month of a Kindle unlimited suscription which is free Thalassa's books are the perfect choice. You don't need to own a kindle. You only need an amazon account and you can always read in your mobile PC or tablet.
END OF REVIEW
===========================================
***UPDATE SEPTEMBER 2ND 2018 BRISBANE TIME***
SAFETY WARNINGS
Although I'm away most of the time I caught Shari Kay's review while browsing reviews and I couldn't ignore it. I'm very busy and can't post as much as before, but I know many of my friends and followers don't like although apparently some of my safety gang pals love when so if that's what you're into by all means put the book higher on your TBR list. I'm only writing to give you all this info and then I'll return to my hiatus.
Apparently
OM doesn't turn me off as much as OW as long as the sex scenes with OM aren't graphic. I hate imaging h with OM when I'm rooting for the couple to get together, but I remember that some safety gang pals love when h doesn't wait for H. For me the romance is ruined, but I'll still read as I got the book on my Kindle and I love Thalassa's writing style. If there's a graphic scene with OM please let me know so I'll skip it.
BTW the last book of this series is overdue, I'll need spoilers and safety info on that one. If the ending is anything as Allegiant I'll skip the entire series.
***UPDATE OCTOBER 5TH 2017 BRISBANE TIME***
BACK TO REGULAR PRICE. But still free for Kindle unlimited users.
You don't need to own a kindle to be Kindle unlimited user. You only need an amazon account, which is easy to get.
Previous updates
FREEBIE ALERT*
FREEBIE ALERT*
FREEBIE ALERT*
Update 10-04-17 Brisbane time
Still free. LIMITED TIME FREEBIE. If I were you I'd download this book ASAP. Laura Thalassa is an extremely talented New adult Scifi-Fantasy writer and fans of the A court of thorns series have loved this one as far as I know.
USA
Australia
ORIGINAL ALERT
FREEBIE ALERT*
FREEBIE ALERT
FREEBIE ALERT
FREEBIE ALERT
FREEBIE ALERT
This one is a perman-free for kindle unlimted users but for anyone who doesn't have kindle unlimited you can download free. RIGHT NOW! 10-03-2017 Don't miss your chance!
I got my copy! I'd rather own a book than borrow. AUSSIE READERS INCLUDED!!
Either way you don't need to have a kindle, just an amazon account which is free and easy to get and then you can download and read it FOR FREE. I really like this author and my sources tell me that you get an ACOMAF vibe. Including the sex scenes! This is very new adult as far as I know, but I'm a sucker for New adult fiction that isn't contemporary.
Get your copy
Here's the link for kindle Australia
Review to come but overall great read. Safe romance too which is always a plus.
Update May 1st 2019. Just because ϻӮ messed up with my original review.
SAFE READ RECOMMENDATION
SAFE READ RECOMMENDATION
SAFE READ RECOMMENDATION I don't know about the sequels but this one is safe of OW AND I haven't found anything that suggests OW in sequels, I'll keep looking
Thank you everyone who recommended this book to me and my dear Shari for the safety info. I would've never given this book a chance without the feedback of my trusted friends.
Update and Review 02-24-2019
I wrote a longer review to recommend this brilliant book and lost it! All I can say for now is that this book is safe: meaning no cheating, no ow (sexual activity with other woman) and while the older, more experienced hero sleeps around. In fact, it looks as though he was the one who Nothing graphic with but in case OM activity after meeting is your trigger, I recommend reading the Amazon sample first. You'll find all the OM activity in the first pages and it's never graphic, If you don't like OM and the sample doesn't turn you off you'll be good to go, the rest of the book is really good. Outstanding, beautiful.
I'll add really quickly that I WISH THERE WERE MORE BOOKS LIKE THIS ONE. If you read my review of SPEAK or if you have come across my rants against the way authors feature rape in their "romance" books you'll know that CONSENT IS A HUGE DEAL FOR ME. I'm tired of seeing rape culture messages all over ϻӮ when I come here to have fun. I want to thank Laura Thalassa for writing a RELATABLE abuse victim WHO reacts realistic to her experience, someone who doesn't get cured when the "magic" penis gets into action and who isn't defined by what happened to her in her childhood. There are so many times when authors add rape just for the sake of drama and then the victim moves on as though nothing happened and that's unrealistic not to mention dangerous message.
There's also the "hero" is the/a rapist or the rapist is "a good person in other aspects" or "she moved on from the experience". Victims react in many different forms, rapists heroes have nothing to do in books labelled as romance and NO YOU NEVER FORGET WHAT HAPPENED, BUT MANY OF US DON'T GET DEFINED BY THE EXPERIENCE. I though Thalassa handled a triggering subject in a beautiful way, it's never central, it's not there for the sake of creating drama, and it never appears in a way that makes me think it's just there for sympathy.
In this era of "rapists" heroes against which many of my safety gang friends have written angry rants , what Thalassa did makes me love this book more. She did it so BEAUTIFULLY in this first book, that I'm afraid of reading the sequels but I know I will get down to them eventually, maybe right before War (second book of the four horseman series, which is coming out this year) is available.
Desmond is adorable. He reminds me of Rhys at his best which was books 1 and 2 of Court of Thorns series, the character was ruined FOR ME afterwards but he'll always have a place in my heart. Desmond is equally adorable, maybe better because even though Callie is a strong woman he never gets overpowered by her. Callie is a siren with the power to bend men to her will and as a bargainer Desmond pushes the boundaries of what's acceptable and not. If that's not your thing perhaps this book won't be for you but overall, as far as this book goes for me the power balance between those two worked perfectly. He might be older but she's smart and stubborn. I love heroines that aren't doormats.
Desmond I love that about him. He's also a morally ambiguous King and I can't have enough of morally ambiguous rulers.
So I'm recommending this first book of what seems to be a safe series to all my friends. I'm tired of rapists heroes and unsafe romace, but I haven't read the sequels so I don't know how this will play later so take my enthusiastic recommendations with a grain of salt. I still believe this is a great book, for me this was better than Thalassa's pestilence although most of my friends seem to like Pestilence more.
By the way. If you want to try a first month of a Kindle unlimited suscription which is free Thalassa's books are the perfect choice. You don't need to own a kindle. You only need an amazon account and you can always read in your mobile PC or tablet.
END OF REVIEW
===========================================
***UPDATE SEPTEMBER 2ND 2018 BRISBANE TIME***
SAFETY WARNINGS
Although I'm away most of the time I caught Shari Kay's review while browsing reviews and I couldn't ignore it. I'm very busy and can't post as much as before, but I know many of my friends and followers don't like although apparently some of my safety gang pals love when so if that's what you're into by all means put the book higher on your TBR list. I'm only writing to give you all this info and then I'll return to my hiatus.
Apparently
OM doesn't turn me off as much as OW as long as the sex scenes with OM aren't graphic. I hate imaging h with OM when I'm rooting for the couple to get together, but I remember that some safety gang pals love when h doesn't wait for H. For me the romance is ruined, but I'll still read as I got the book on my Kindle and I love Thalassa's writing style. If there's a graphic scene with OM please let me know so I'll skip it.
BTW the last book of this series is overdue, I'll need spoilers and safety info on that one. If the ending is anything as Allegiant I'll skip the entire series.
***UPDATE OCTOBER 5TH 2017 BRISBANE TIME***
BACK TO REGULAR PRICE. But still free for Kindle unlimited users.
You don't need to own a kindle to be Kindle unlimited user. You only need an amazon account, which is easy to get.
Previous updates
FREEBIE ALERT*
FREEBIE ALERT*
FREEBIE ALERT*
Update 10-04-17 Brisbane time
Still free. LIMITED TIME FREEBIE. If I were you I'd download this book ASAP. Laura Thalassa is an extremely talented New adult Scifi-Fantasy writer and fans of the A court of thorns series have loved this one as far as I know.
USA
Australia
ORIGINAL ALERT
FREEBIE ALERT*
FREEBIE ALERT
FREEBIE ALERT
FREEBIE ALERT
FREEBIE ALERT
This one is a perman-free for kindle unlimted users but for anyone who doesn't have kindle unlimited you can download free. RIGHT NOW! 10-03-2017 Don't miss your chance!
I got my copy! I'd rather own a book than borrow. AUSSIE READERS INCLUDED!!
Either way you don't need to have a kindle, just an amazon account which is free and easy to get and then you can download and read it FOR FREE. I really like this author and my sources tell me that you get an ACOMAF vibe. Including the sex scenes! This is very new adult as far as I know, but I'm a sucker for New adult fiction that isn't contemporary.
Get your copy
Here's the link for kindle Australia
Review to come but overall great read. Safe romance too which is always a plus.
Update May 1st 2019. Just because ϻӮ messed up with my original review.
January 15, 2022
– 3.5 stars
Desmond (H) & Callypso (h) were so cute together. The romance between them developed nicely. The book is divided into past and present chapters and the past chapters were my favorite, because Des was so protective of Callie and it was so cute to see their friendship bloom. 16 yrs old Callie is living her best life watching Harry Potter movies with His Majesty Desmond Flynn, Emperor of the Evening Stars, Lord of Secrets, Master of Shadows, and King of Chaos. Thank you for making me feel single af.
I don’t even care that the worldbuilding was weak or that the plot was lame, because I’m not a plot reader anyway. Characters >>>> Plot any day, but the reason why this book is not getting a higher rating is because (1.) I feel like there was just something missing, but I can’t pinpoint what exactly (2.) Des and Callie were likeable characters, but I’m betting on my first born that I won’t be remember much about them in a few weeks. It's just one of these cases where I'm like 'I like them, but I don't love them' (3.) it just doesn’t feel like a 4 star read easy as that.
Since I’m already in the middle of reading the next book, it’s not the worse series to pass the time.
┍━━━━━━━━»•» «•«━┑
THE BARGAINER SERIES
#1 Rhapsodic – 3.5 stars
#2 A Strange Hymn – 3 stars
#2.5 The Emperor of Evening Stars – 3.5 stars
#3 Dark Harmony – 3.25 stars
┕━»•» «•«━━━━━━━━┙
“Ask me, Callie,” he says softly, his luminous eyes beseeching me. Just looking at him … it’s hard not to be sucked in by his ferocious beauty and his velvety voice. It’s all so achingly familiar. I can’t believe I’m about to say this. “How did you feel, leaving me?” I ask. He holds my gaze. “Like my soul was ripped in two.”
Desmond (H) & Callypso (h) were so cute together. The romance between them developed nicely. The book is divided into past and present chapters and the past chapters were my favorite, because Des was so protective of Callie and it was so cute to see their friendship bloom. 16 yrs old Callie is living her best life watching Harry Potter movies with His Majesty Desmond Flynn, Emperor of the Evening Stars, Lord of Secrets, Master of Shadows, and King of Chaos. Thank you for making me feel single af.
I don’t even care that the worldbuilding was weak or that the plot was lame, because I’m not a plot reader anyway. Characters >>>> Plot any day, but the reason why this book is not getting a higher rating is because (1.) I feel like there was just something missing, but I can’t pinpoint what exactly (2.) Des and Callie were likeable characters, but I’m betting on my first born that I won’t be remember much about them in a few weeks. It's just one of these cases where I'm like 'I like them, but I don't love them' (3.) it just doesn’t feel like a 4 star read easy as that.
Since I’m already in the middle of reading the next book, it’s not the worse series to pass the time.
“And mountains may rise and fall, and the sun might wither away, and the sea claim the land and swallow the sky. But you will always be mine.” He runs his knuckles over my cheekbone. “And the stars might fall from the heavens, and night might cloak the earth, but until darkness dies, I will always be yours.”
┍━━━━━━━━»•» «•«━┑
THE BARGAINER SERIES
#1 Rhapsodic – 3.5 stars
#2 A Strange Hymn – 3 stars
#2.5 The Emperor of Evening Stars – 3.5 stars
#3 Dark Harmony – 3.25 stars
┕━»•» «•«━━━━━━━━┙
Read
May 1, 20195 brilliant stars
Moved my original review to another edition cause something weird is happening to it.
/review/show...
Click HEREto read it.
Moved my original review to another edition cause something weird is happening to it.
/review/show...
Click HEREto read it.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
April 7, 2020
Oh, My Giddy Aunt!!! I bloody loved this book.
This was just so good, I found Rhapsodic a delight and this has been on my TBR pile for quite a while, well it was certainly well worth the wait it really was fantastic capturing my attention instantly.
Rhapsodic basically tells the tale of Callypso Lillis a human Siren and Desmond Flynn AKA The Bargainer and King of the night.
Callie has tried to forget The Bargainer after having her heart broken into two, but when a certain Des Flynn comes back into her life regarding the armful of debts she still owes, Callie is coerced into helping the King of the night to repay her debts, first little things like decorating his guest bedroom and then more important tasks like glamoring human changelings with her siren powers for information.
Things are occurring in the Otherworld and Des needs Callies help in unravelling the mystery.
Rhapsodic is told from Callie's POV and though I would have liked to maybe get more of an insight into Desmond's head it did work.
Alternate flashbacks of present time and the past mean we get to revisit Desmond and a teenage Callie as they forge a deep friendship and I also found both Des and Callie here to be great characters.
So this book, hand on heart I am completely in love with Des, Desmond of the sexy wings, long white-blonde hair, badass attitude and third most wanted on the supernatural shit list.
His sexy ass is so delectable I was actually drooling.
Callie I also liked though a greater appreciation for Desmond's single-minded devotion towards her would have been nice his steadfastness with Callie is beautiful.
Though Callie is kick-ass in her bravery and her courage is immense She really is a fitting mate to The Night King.
Out of the two, I have to admit to being slightly more enchanted by our Bargainer, what can I say I'm such a girl at heart.
I don't want to give away to much here so will just say that Rhapsodic has plenty of action and is truly a captivating enchanting tale.
Half the book is spent on earth and the rest in Otherworld with the fae.
The underlying mystery here with the sleeping maidens and them creepy-ass kids adds an extra element to the story.
I also really loved the ending here, it was so unexpected but such genius and it definitely left me wanting more.
I am now really looking forward to the next book in this series.
This completely worked for me and I would definitely recommend this especially if you like your fantasy with a touch of romance.
Reviewed By Beckie Bookworm
June 7, 2017
5 stars!
“People like us are not victims. We’re someone’s nightmare.”
Rhapsodic is the tale of Callie the Siren, present day bounty hunter with a past that’s always tied to her. When she was a teenager, she needed help and called upon The Bargainer to help her clean up her mess. Lost and alone, she kept calling him back for more and more favors until her wrist was wrapped in the hundreds of favors she owed him. Until one day, he left her and she didn’t see him again.
Now, seven years later he has come back, and it’s time for those favors to be repaid. The Bargainer needs Callie’s help, for something is wrong in the Otherworld, and she has the ability to get answers where he cannot. The only problem? Callie’s help has made her a target, and no one knows who is coming for her.
“Now, cherub,” his words roll off his lips like honey, “the first repayment of the day: you’re coming home with me, and you’re not leaving until your debts have all been paid.”
Rhapsodic is a book that has been recommended to me over and over again, and yet I waited because only the first book was out. I binge read all three of her Fallen World books, one in a row, so I know how addictive her books can be. So when the second book A Strange Hymn came out, I decided to pick this one up. And I am so glad I did.
Thalassa writes the perfect hero. At least, the perfect men for me. Her heroes are flawed, and not always good, but they love their heroines and treat them well. Plus there’s just the right amount of alpha male where it can be considered hot but doesn’t leave me banging my head on the table with frustration. Des to me is perfect, he may not be your typical good guy or bad guy, but he has a job to do, people to protect, and he cares for those close to him.
I fell into this book so easily, Thalassa’s writing flows across the page. I hope this woman does nothing but write the rest of her life, because I haven’t found an author whose writing I meshed with this well in a long time. I’ve read four of her books so far and loved all four of them. And I’m a picky bitch. Seriously, I’ve been told that by other readers.
I highly recommend this book, for all types of readers. You won’t regret it!
“And the mountains may rise and fall, and the sun might wither away, and the sea may claim the land and swallow the sky. But you will always be mine. And the stars might fall from the heavens, and night might cloak the earth, but until darkness dies, I will always be yours.”
Follow me on ˥ ˥ ˥ ˥ ˥
“People like us are not victims. We’re someone’s nightmare.”
Rhapsodic is the tale of Callie the Siren, present day bounty hunter with a past that’s always tied to her. When she was a teenager, she needed help and called upon The Bargainer to help her clean up her mess. Lost and alone, she kept calling him back for more and more favors until her wrist was wrapped in the hundreds of favors she owed him. Until one day, he left her and she didn’t see him again.
Now, seven years later he has come back, and it’s time for those favors to be repaid. The Bargainer needs Callie’s help, for something is wrong in the Otherworld, and she has the ability to get answers where he cannot. The only problem? Callie’s help has made her a target, and no one knows who is coming for her.
“Now, cherub,” his words roll off his lips like honey, “the first repayment of the day: you’re coming home with me, and you’re not leaving until your debts have all been paid.”
Rhapsodic is a book that has been recommended to me over and over again, and yet I waited because only the first book was out. I binge read all three of her Fallen World books, one in a row, so I know how addictive her books can be. So when the second book A Strange Hymn came out, I decided to pick this one up. And I am so glad I did.
Thalassa writes the perfect hero. At least, the perfect men for me. Her heroes are flawed, and not always good, but they love their heroines and treat them well. Plus there’s just the right amount of alpha male where it can be considered hot but doesn’t leave me banging my head on the table with frustration. Des to me is perfect, he may not be your typical good guy or bad guy, but he has a job to do, people to protect, and he cares for those close to him.
I fell into this book so easily, Thalassa’s writing flows across the page. I hope this woman does nothing but write the rest of her life, because I haven’t found an author whose writing I meshed with this well in a long time. I’ve read four of her books so far and loved all four of them. And I’m a picky bitch. Seriously, I’ve been told that by other readers.
I highly recommend this book, for all types of readers. You won’t regret it!
“And the mountains may rise and fall, and the sun might wither away, and the sea may claim the land and swallow the sky. But you will always be mine. And the stars might fall from the heavens, and night might cloak the earth, but until darkness dies, I will always be yours.”
Follow me on ˥ ˥ ˥ ˥ ˥
April 2, 2018
I picked this book up because I saw a lot of people on Twitter talking about it, and I generally enjoy books that the twitter community likes, especially the hidden gems. This book is another fae book, and idk if people consider it an insult to compare it to ACOMAF, but the two are pretty similar.
Overall, I enjoyed this book. I'm not mad that I read it. However, it's just not great. The storyline is solid and I feel like there was so much potential if this were written by a different person or if more was done to flesh out the storyline. I get why people ship Descallie, and I really really really wanted to fall in love with them, but although I could appreciate their characters, nothing really grabbed me and made me adore them like I do my other favorites. I feel like they were held a little bit too at arms' length, and the angst in this book had slightly too much dramatic irony to keep my interest suspended (ie. I was able to detect from page one that there was a connection between the characters but callie constantly ignored it and was like "omggg he'll never love me" even though he clearly loved her).
I like the urban fantasy-ness of this and the fae world, but it needed a lot more fleshing out. I'm not a fan of info dumps, but I was just craving some type of information about the world other than "there's four courts and one of them is called night court, imagine that!" At one point the characters portal to Venice and there's only two sentences of description, and both were pretty generic. This book just lacked unique description that put me in the world, so again, I appreciated it for the storyline, but nothing grabbed me and immersed me in the story.
I think it was largely due to the fact that this isn't my favorite writing style, so I get how others might have liked it more than me. This reminds me a little bit of Jennifer L. Armentrout's writing where she uses expressions like "Oh sweet baby Jesus!" and I'm just not a fan of that--especially in fantasy books where I prefer the mood to be darker and more serious--so it just took me out of the story every time the inner monologue would turn sarcastic. Additionally, a lot of the descriptions were weak and some of the dialogue became a bit cookie cutter. There were parts that made me grin with the cheekiness, but overall I wish there were a lot more showing of descriptions rather than the telling of details through inner monologue.
I started book two just because the end of this one sets up for an interesting sequel, and not gonna lie, those sex scenes got me wanting more. I doubt this author's books will ever be 5-stars better-than-ACOMAF level reads, but if you want something similar and you're down for a lighthearted book with fun tropes and a healthy(ish. idk, a few parts were weird but overall can't complain) romance, then I say go for it!
Overall, I enjoyed this book. I'm not mad that I read it. However, it's just not great. The storyline is solid and I feel like there was so much potential if this were written by a different person or if more was done to flesh out the storyline. I get why people ship Descallie, and I really really really wanted to fall in love with them, but although I could appreciate their characters, nothing really grabbed me and made me adore them like I do my other favorites. I feel like they were held a little bit too at arms' length, and the angst in this book had slightly too much dramatic irony to keep my interest suspended (ie. I was able to detect from page one that there was a connection between the characters but callie constantly ignored it and was like "omggg he'll never love me" even though he clearly loved her).
I like the urban fantasy-ness of this and the fae world, but it needed a lot more fleshing out. I'm not a fan of info dumps, but I was just craving some type of information about the world other than "there's four courts and one of them is called night court, imagine that!" At one point the characters portal to Venice and there's only two sentences of description, and both were pretty generic. This book just lacked unique description that put me in the world, so again, I appreciated it for the storyline, but nothing grabbed me and immersed me in the story.
I think it was largely due to the fact that this isn't my favorite writing style, so I get how others might have liked it more than me. This reminds me a little bit of Jennifer L. Armentrout's writing where she uses expressions like "Oh sweet baby Jesus!" and I'm just not a fan of that--especially in fantasy books where I prefer the mood to be darker and more serious--so it just took me out of the story every time the inner monologue would turn sarcastic. Additionally, a lot of the descriptions were weak and some of the dialogue became a bit cookie cutter. There were parts that made me grin with the cheekiness, but overall I wish there were a lot more showing of descriptions rather than the telling of details through inner monologue.
I started book two just because the end of this one sets up for an interesting sequel, and not gonna lie, those sex scenes got me wanting more. I doubt this author's books will ever be 5-stars better-than-ACOMAF level reads, but if you want something similar and you're down for a lighthearted book with fun tropes and a healthy(ish. idk, a few parts were weird but overall can't complain) romance, then I say go for it!
June 28, 2019
Desmond˥
This is much better than ACOMAF and that's saying something 'cuz I LOVE the ACOTAR series. I never wrote a review for Rhapsodic, but I recommended this to every single one of my friends and that took me a while, so if that doesn't tell you how much I love Rhapsodic I don't know what else. So so good!
This is much better than ACOMAF and that's saying something 'cuz I LOVE the ACOTAR series. I never wrote a review for Rhapsodic, but I recommended this to every single one of my friends and that took me a while, so if that doesn't tell you how much I love Rhapsodic I don't know what else. So so good!
October 18, 2020
It makes me extremely uncomfortable that 1/2 the book is about a grown man wanting a 16 year old girl. Call it what you will, but normalizing that shit isn’t cute in any way. Yes they are “flashback” memories but...who does that? Why couldn’t she be older and then add the seven years?
I kept reading to see if the damn flashback would stop but they continue it throughout the story. What’s up with all these authors and their “grooming” themes? Disgusting.
I kept reading to see if the damn flashback would stop but they continue it throughout the story. What’s up with all these authors and their “grooming” themes? Disgusting.
![Profile Image for Jessi ❤️ H. Vojsk [if villain, why hot?].](/_next/image?url=https%3A%2F%2Fi.gr-assets.com%2Fimages%2FS%2Fcompressed.photo.goodreads.com%2Fusers%2F1746468325i%2F66224803._UX200_CR0%2C0%2C200%2C200_.jpg&w=128&q=75)
April 7, 2018
“And mountains may rise and fall,
and the sun might wither away,
and the sea claim the land and swallow the sky.
But you will always be mine.
And the stars might fall from the heavens,
and night might cloak the earth,
but until darkness dies, I will always be yours.”
Story ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Ever had a problem you needed a solution for?
Yes? Well, the Bargainer is the perfect guy for you. He’ll find a solution and solve your problem. But such things always come with a cost, a price you need to pay.
Seven years ago Callie met the Bargainer when she asked for a deal. But for such a huge problem one wish isn’t enough.
Soon they’re many deals made, but before she could pay her depth, he disappears.
Only to appear again after seven years. And with that Callie is again hunted by her past and the future that looks so much more dangerous than before.
First of all: I really liked this book. It was definitely entertaining.
Yes, it had some similarities with ACOTAR, but in the end it was a different story with different characters.
I guess the author just got Inspired by ACOTAR and that’s completely fine with me. It still had an unique touch.
But always being reminded of a different book is kind of annoying, that’s why the story (and the book) gets only four stars.
But still, it’s extremely funny and entertaining. I enjoyed it the whole time and finished it in one day because it was so good and easy to read!
Characters ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
I don’t know if that’s just her talent, but the author is great at imagining and creating a sassy, funny main character.
I loved Sara in Pestilence and I love Callie in this series. She was in some way so relatable. She had a tough past, but after Des became her anchor she survived it and even after Des left her she became a strong independent woman who does not need a man.
But still... losing your best friend was hurtful and in the long years she thinks she lost him, she tries to find happiness in another person, but she can’t.
Oh, and Des. Yes, this guy really reminded me of Rhysand. But only in a slight subtle way.
He was the ruler of a dark fairy world, but he also lived partially on earth collecting secrets and making deals with desperate people. But when he saw the crying young Callie he stayed with her. Every time they made a deal. And with that he saved her and her broken soul.
He’s a kind guy, who knows all your favorite food tastes and makes you laugh when your want to cry and curl up in your bed.
In the end he’s a good guy, even though no one thinks so. And when he shows this side to Callie, she can see the truth behind his mask. And that’s probably the sweetest thing.
The vulnerability from both of them.
And, oh my god, I found the cutest nickname ever: Cherub.
Sounds like something fluffy and sweet!
World ⭐️⭐️⭐️
There are two worlds. The underworld in which the fae and other creepy creatures live and the earth where many supernatural things life, like werewolves, witches, sirens...
Normally those two are separated, but the Bargainer moves between both of them.
The fae world is ruled by a king and a queen, but both of them have long fallen asleep magically. Now they’re courts that rule the fae world (see the similarity to ACOTAR?) and each one has a purpose, power and ruler.
Relationships ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Oh. My. God.
The friendship between those two was the most adorable thing I have ever read of.
I was smiling all the time and in the beginning Des acted like a caring big brother or best friend but soon both of them realized that this would not be a platonic relationship.
But things happened and hearts got broken and the moment Des reappeared in Callie’s life, her life is being thrown upside down.
They’re conversations were mysterious but most of the time absolutely hilarious.
And oh my god: There is some smut in there, holy sh*t! That’s some good stuff there (Holà 💃🏻).
Writing style ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
I was really intrigued with the author after Pestilence, but now I’m sure: I love her writing.
Yes, they’re curses in here and yes sometimes the language isn’t the prettiest, but who cares? I loved it and I smiled like an idiot reading it. And that’s probably the best thing ever!
P.S. I had no problem with the word “mate” in ACOTAR but reading it like 717372 times, I get a little bit annoyed by it. It’s now one of my least favorite words in a book 🤷🏻♀️
March 3, 2025
Man, this is a stupid ass book. I'm glad so many people like it but it's a no for me.
I'm real tired of the 'if you liked ACOTAR then.. ' I have never liked any of those books. Ever.
DNF @58%
I'm real tired of the 'if you liked ACOTAR then.. ' I have never liked any of those books. Ever.
DNF @58%
January 20, 2017
Title: Rhapsodic
Series: The Bargainer #1
Author: Laura Thalassa
Release date: November 15, 2016
Cliffhanger: No
HEA
The past few months I've been finding my way back to my love of fantasy books. When I spotted this one, I grabbed it on pure impulse and decided to start it immediately. I went in pretty blind, not doing more than the synopsis and browsing the general ratings. I didn't want to second guess myself or talk myself out of trying an unknown (to me) author. Thankfully, this is one of those times when the gamble had a huge payout. This book was exactly what I was craving: it was unique, wonderfully detailed in its world building, and filled with fascinating characters. Without a doubt, Laura Thalassa has found a new follower in me.
This book is told in alternating past and present sections. I know a lot of people have issues with this structure, but I don't have a problem with it most of the time. The book opens you up in a very desperate moment in Callie's past. She's covered in blood and frantic. After years of being preyed on, she finally snapped and took irrevocable action.
Now there's only one person can save her: The Bargainer. The mysterious six foot tall, blond and menacing King of the Night who grants his supernatural help in return for favors. Many know of him, but few dare to call on him. In the supernatural world, he rules over darkness, chaos, violence, and sex. All things that go bump in the night. In the human world, he's a man of many secrets and schemes, and willing to break any law to achieve his goals.
After Callie leaves for boarding school, we get small snippets of how these two grew close to one another and her slow progression from client to friend, to something more undefined. I really enjoyed seeing their background and how their feelings grew. He may have had darkness in him, but he genuinely cared for and protected her. Whether it was from outside forces or the memories that haunted her, he was always there when she needed him.
There's a mystery surrounding what separated them for the seven years between the past and the present. Callie grew resentful and angry at his disappearance, but it's clear from the start that now that he's back, he's not letting anything come between them.
“How did you feel, leaving me?” I ask. He holds my gaze.
“Like my soul was ripped in two.”
Callypso was a kickass heroine. I loved the fact that she was a Siren, that she held the abilities to use her feminine powers to glamour those who would seek to harm. She works as a PI with her best friend (who I absolutely loved) and gets unwilling confessions out of criminals. Evil made her a victim once and now she sought justice and retribution for those who needed her. It was this side of her that I felt matched Des really well. They both did bad things for good reasons, they had darkness in them but they weren't past redemption.
Now that Des is back, she's determined to keep her distance whatever price he asks her to pay.
I made a promise to myself after Des left my life, a promise to be independent. To not allow men like him to destroy my world. And now the very man who forced me to make that promise wants to burrow his way under my skin and into my heart once more. I’d be the worst sort of person if I broke that promise at the first sign of temptation.
The long drawn out desire between these two was amazing. I loved their chemistry, their tenderness, and their passion for one another. The angst exploded off the pages and made my heart happy.
And then Des kisses me. A kiss to end all kisses. Love is another sort of subtle magic. It can bring people together and tear lives apart. It can wash away sorrow, it can forgive. It can redeem.
Des needs to utilize her special skills to coerce the changelings in his world to reveal their secrets. There's unimaginable evil wreaking havoc and she is the key to unlocking the source. The "Thief of Souls" and his children were absolutely disturbing and made my skin crawl. Callie thought she had seen the darkest depths in the human world, but nothing compared to what she now faced. Be prepared to be creeped out.
I was going to rate this book a five originally simply because of how deeply I connected to the characters and storyline. But after thinking about it, there were enough minor issues to force me to shave off a partial star. However, that did not affect my overall enjoyment. I would recommend this one to anyone looking for a fantasy book that will hold you completely engrossed and on the edge of your seat. It's sexy, mysterious, and quite the exciting ride. Stalking has immediately commenced for news on a release date for .
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November 18, 2022
What a beautiful enchanting tale!!! So! Very well written,if I could this would get 10 stars!!! The storyline was fabulous and the characters were unforgettable!!! In the world of fae, night king Desmond Flynn is the stuff of nightmares and feared by all,but when he makes a bargain with callie a human who has just killed he stepfather who has sexually abused her for years Desmond knows that callie is more then she seems she's a siren who hasn't come into her powers yet. As the years pass callie will make bargain after bargain to keep Desmond around,because even though the bargainer is feared by all to callie he means so much more he is her friend and year After year she's falling in love with him.But one night that all changes,callie wants more and she thinks he does too,but he leaves breaking her heart and leaving alone for the first time in years. After leaving callie seven years ago Desmond is back and it's time for callie to pay up,but this time Desmond has different plans and he's not holding back. He wants callie and so starts their dance of passion full of sensuality and lust and a love story that started long ago with a wish spoken between soul mates !💖💖
From flame to ashes, dawn to dusk, for the rest of our lives, be mine always, Desmond Flynn,’” Callie's wish💖
From flame to ashes, dawn to dusk, for the rest of our lives, be mine always, Desmond Flynn,’” Callie's wish💖
February 20, 2021
The only word that fits this book is jarring. I couldn’t bring myself to care about the character, they felt one-dimensional, also their relationship didn’t sit well with me. Details of the real world and fantasy world really clashed, I just couldn’t stand it. The flashbacks were really weird. The whole story felt wrong.
August 29, 2021
i’ve read a lot of great books in my life. i’ve also read an admirable number of books i hate. but none of them are as ridiculous and non original as this one.
welcome to the guide how to write a bestseller without having to use your brain. ready for the biggest change of your life? well, the secret of success is that you have to copy down to the smallest detail one of the popular series that everyone knows.
in this case, it’s acotar 2.0 with a very bad writing style, because the author has a terrible vocabulary, so she put “fuckity fuck” on every second page, which is very sad, as half of the words in this whole book are just the word “fuck”. but even funnier fact is that they kept repeating “jesus”. i think jesus would have a heart attack from their vocabulary.
the main heroine callypso is annoying, stupid, boring and yet “not like other girls”. maybe because other girls have more brain cells.
callypso murders someone, makes a deal with love interest and has to pay off the debt – just like in acotar.
callypso falls in love with the most powerful fae who masters the magic associated with night – just like in acotar.
next up is the famous “mate trope”. does it remind you of anything? oh yeah, it’s acotar! again. how unexpected and shocking.
i came up with a more apt title for this book – a court of pain and suffering.
and then here we have desmond flynn. or should i say rhysand 2.0? rhysand and desmond are the same, behave the same and have the same personality.
but of course, not to be exactly the same, so while rhysand is the high lord of the night court, desmond is supposed to be the night king. do you see the drastic difference?
the side characters are either stupid, annoying or bland (hence the same as the main ones) and have more abdominal and pectoral muscles than brain cells.
apart from the non existent originality, we also have a non existent plot, because except for the few moments i just mentioned, it’s about nothing.
when it comes to (failed) romance, you will experience maximum insta love here, because “i hate you” will change to “he looks like an angel. everything about him is perfect” in a few pages.
if you found a scene there that doesn’t resemble this series and you wonder how original it is, i have to disappoint you. everything comes from either the forbidden game, twilight, the cruel prince or grishaverse.
to completely destroy this shitty book, the author ended it completely illogically, because there was a twist from nowhere, which was so cringe that it caused me a brain damage.
don’t make me mention the nonsensical worldbuilding, otherwise i’ll start crying.
so the conclusion is: bad, terrible, boring, miserable, horrible, non original / add any synonym.
now play the sad music and wait patiently for my last depressive message:
even though it’s a complete disaster, of all the 4 books, this one is the least terrible.
*if you listen more closely, you can hear me cry*
and because something so spiritually torturous is not seen very often, here is my masterpiece, hope it makes your day:
a court of pain and suffering: a poem
by diana
my name is callypso and i’m very speshul
this poem is about me and that’s a pleasure.
rhysand’s hair is black but desmond’s is blond
except this they’re same and should have a bond.
one is the night king and the other is high lord
they both wield magic and i have only a sword.
desmond is perfect and looks like an angel
he have to save me whenever i’m in danger.
but he doesn’t love me, what will i do?
maybe copy feyre and hit him with a shoe.
in some rare moments he takes off his shirt
i’m immediately blushing and try to flirt
even from his slightest touch i’m fainting.
and author diana finds it very irritating.
—ĔĔĔĔĔĔĔĔĔĔĔĔĔĔ
pre review
this is just acotar 2.0 with a terrible writing style. such a disappointment.
welcome to the guide how to write a bestseller without having to use your brain. ready for the biggest change of your life? well, the secret of success is that you have to copy down to the smallest detail one of the popular series that everyone knows.
in this case, it’s acotar 2.0 with a very bad writing style, because the author has a terrible vocabulary, so she put “fuckity fuck” on every second page, which is very sad, as half of the words in this whole book are just the word “fuck”. but even funnier fact is that they kept repeating “jesus”. i think jesus would have a heart attack from their vocabulary.
the main heroine callypso is annoying, stupid, boring and yet “not like other girls”. maybe because other girls have more brain cells.
callypso murders someone, makes a deal with love interest and has to pay off the debt – just like in acotar.
callypso falls in love with the most powerful fae who masters the magic associated with night – just like in acotar.
next up is the famous “mate trope”. does it remind you of anything? oh yeah, it’s acotar! again. how unexpected and shocking.
i came up with a more apt title for this book – a court of pain and suffering.
and then here we have desmond flynn. or should i say rhysand 2.0? rhysand and desmond are the same, behave the same and have the same personality.
but of course, not to be exactly the same, so while rhysand is the high lord of the night court, desmond is supposed to be the night king. do you see the drastic difference?
the side characters are either stupid, annoying or bland (hence the same as the main ones) and have more abdominal and pectoral muscles than brain cells.
apart from the non existent originality, we also have a non existent plot, because except for the few moments i just mentioned, it’s about nothing.
when it comes to (failed) romance, you will experience maximum insta love here, because “i hate you” will change to “he looks like an angel. everything about him is perfect” in a few pages.
if you found a scene there that doesn’t resemble this series and you wonder how original it is, i have to disappoint you. everything comes from either the forbidden game, twilight, the cruel prince or grishaverse.
to completely destroy this shitty book, the author ended it completely illogically, because there was a twist from nowhere, which was so cringe that it caused me a brain damage.
don’t make me mention the nonsensical worldbuilding, otherwise i’ll start crying.
so the conclusion is: bad, terrible, boring, miserable, horrible, non original / add any synonym.
now play the sad music and wait patiently for my last depressive message:
even though it’s a complete disaster, of all the 4 books, this one is the least terrible.
*if you listen more closely, you can hear me cry*
and because something so spiritually torturous is not seen very often, here is my masterpiece, hope it makes your day:
a court of pain and suffering: a poem
by diana
my name is callypso and i’m very speshul
this poem is about me and that’s a pleasure.
rhysand’s hair is black but desmond’s is blond
except this they’re same and should have a bond.
one is the night king and the other is high lord
they both wield magic and i have only a sword.
desmond is perfect and looks like an angel
he have to save me whenever i’m in danger.
but he doesn’t love me, what will i do?
maybe copy feyre and hit him with a shoe.
in some rare moments he takes off his shirt
i’m immediately blushing and try to flirt
even from his slightest touch i’m fainting.
and author diana finds it very irritating.
—ĔĔĔĔĔĔĔĔĔĔĔĔĔĔ
pre review
this is just acotar 2.0 with a terrible writing style. such a disappointment.
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