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356 pages, Kindle Edition
Published October 14, 2021
I once wore a pair of black patent brogues with furry black and white spotted panels on a plane. A flight attendant said, ‘I like your shoes.’ I said, ‘Thanks - I had them made abroad. The shoemaker had a big box of Dalmatian puppies, and you could pick your own …’ It was the only time in my life I was smacked by a flight crew member.On weight:
I can’t control my weight and eat the things I like, so I eat the things I like.On libraries:
Everything I’ve achieved in my life has been because of the library.On Australian wildlife:
I’m warning you. Australia is a dangerous place! Australians must be the bravest buggers on the face of the earth. Imminent danger every fucking day.On snorkelling:
I was a bit nervous because I’d just seen Jaws for the first time - you know that movie about a shark that plays the cello? It put me off being in the sea. Every time I put my head underwater, I heard, ’dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun …’On scuba diving:
My favourite underwater trick is to get my buoyancy bang on and stand still vertically. Just stand there looking bored when people swim past. Nod to them as if you’re waiting at a bus stop. Look at your watch. You get the most extraordinary looks from people.This is the Billy you already know and love, but in book form. If anything, it made me love him more.
‘I’m William F. B. Connolly the Third. Here’s some parting advice for you: “Lie on your back and you won’t squash your nose.”’Blog -