老虎机稳赢方法

“Do you not know I am a woman? when I think, I must speak.”
― William Shakespeare, As You Like It

“My mother wanted us to understand that the tragedies of your life one day have to potential to be the comic stories the next.”
― Nora Ephron

“Growth in love comes from a place of absence, where the imagination is left to it鈥檚 own devices and creates you to be much more then reality would ever allow.”
― Jamie Weise

“First, Lord: No tattoos. May neither Chinese symbol for truth nor Winnie-the-Pooh holding the FSU logo stain her tender haunches.

May she be Beautiful but not Damaged, for it鈥檚 the Damage that draws the creepy soccer coach鈥檚 eye, not the Beauty.

When the Crystal Meth is offered, May she remember the parents who cut her grapes in half And stick with Beer.

Guide her, protect her

When crossing the street, stepping onto boats, swimming in the ocean, swimming in pools, walking near pools, standing on the subway platform, crossing 86th Street, stepping off of boats, using mall restrooms, getting on and off escalators, driving on country roads while arguing, leaning on large windows, walking in parking lots, riding Ferris wheels, roller-coasters, log flumes, or anything called 鈥淗ell Drop,鈥� 鈥淭ower of Torture,鈥� or 鈥淭he Death Spiral Rock 鈥楴 Zero G Roll featuring Aerosmith,鈥� and standing on any kind of balcony ever, anywhere, at any age.

Lead her away from Acting but not all the way to Finance. Something where she can make her own hours but still feel intellectually fulfilled and get outside sometimes And not have to wear high heels.

What would that be, Lord? Architecture? Midwifery? Golf course design? I鈥檓 asking You, because if I knew, I鈥檇 be doing it, Youdammit.

May she play the Drums to the fiery rhythm of her Own Heart with the sinewy strength of her Own Arms, so she need Not Lie With Drummers.

Grant her a Rough Patch from twelve to seventeen. Let her draw horses and be interested in Barbies for much too long, For childhood is short 鈥� a Tiger Flower blooming Magenta for one day 鈥� And adulthood is long and dry-humping in cars will wait.

O Lord, break the Internet forever, That she may be spared the misspelled invective of her peers And the online marketing campaign for Rape Hostel V: Girls Just Wanna Get Stabbed.

And when she one day turns on me and calls me a Bitch in front of Hollister, Give me the strength, Lord, to yank her directly into a cab in front of her friends, For I will not have that Shit. I will not have it.

And should she choose to be a Mother one day, be my eyes, Lord, that I may see her, lying on a blanket on the floor at 4:50 A.M., all-at-once exhausted, bored, and in love with the little creature whose poop is leaking up its back.

鈥淢y mother did this for me once,鈥� she will realize as she cleans feces off her baby鈥檚 neck. 鈥淢y mother did this for me.鈥� And the delayed gratitude will wash over her as it does each generation and she will make a Mental Note to call me. And she will forget. But I鈥檒l know, because I peeped it with Your God eyes.”
― Tina Fey, Bossypants

“But I think the first real change in women鈥檚 body image came when JLo turned it butt-style. That was the first time that having a large-scale situation in the back was part of mainstream American beauty. Girls wanted butts now. Men were free to admit that they had always enjoyed them. And then, what felt like moments later, boom鈥擝eyonc茅 brought the leg meat. A back porch and thick muscular legs were now widely admired. And from that day forward, women embraced their diversity and realized that all shapes and sizes are beautiful. Ah ha ha. No. I鈥檓 totally messing with you. All Beyonce and JLo have done is add to the laundry list of attributes women must have to qualify as beautiful. Now every girl is expected to have Caucasian blue eyes, full Spanish lips, a classic button nose, hairless Asian skin with a California tan, a Jamaican dance hall ass, long Swedish legs, small Japanese feet, the abs of a lesbian gym owner, the hips of a nine-year-old boy, the arms of Michelle Obama, and doll tits. The person closest to actually achieving this look is Kim Kardashian, who, as we know, was made by Russian scientists to sabotage our athletes.”
― Tina Fey, Bossypants

“So, my unsolicited advice to women in the workplace is this. When faced with sexism, or ageism, or lookism, or even really aggressive Buddhism, ask yourself the following question: 鈥淚s this person in between me and what I want to do?鈥� If the answer is no, ignore it and move on. Your energy is better used doing your work and outpacing people that way. Then, when you鈥檙e in charge, don鈥檛 hire the people who were jerky to you.”
― Tina Fey, Bossypants

“Politics and prostitution have to be the only jobs where inexperience is considered a virtue. In what other profession would you brag about not knowing stuff? 鈥淚鈥檓 not one of those fancy Harvard heart surgeons. I鈥檓 just an unlicensed plumber with a dream and I鈥檇 like to cut your chest open.鈥� The crowd cheers.”
― Tina Fey, Bossypants

“We should leave people alone about their weight. Being skinny for a while (provided you actually eat food and don't take pills or smoke to get there) is a perfectly fine pastime. Everyone should try it once, like a super-short haircut or dating a white guy.”
― Tina Fey, Bossypants

“We should leave people alone about their weight. Being chubby for a while (provided you don鈥檛
give yourself diabetes) is a natural phase of life and nothing to be ashamed of. Like puberty or slowly
turning into a Republican.”
― Tina Fey, Bossypants

“The first rule of improvisation is AGREE. Always agree and SAY YES. When you're improvising, this means you are required to agree with whatever your partner has created. So if we're improvising and I say, 'Freeze, I have a gun,' and you say, 'That's not a gun. It's your finger. You're pointing your finger at me,' our improvised scene has ground to a halt. But if I say, 'Freeze, I have a gun!' and you say, 'The gun I gave you for Christmas! You bastard!' then we have started a scene because we have AGREED that my finger is in fact a Christmas gun.”
― Tina Fey, Bossypants

“In an attempt to make things easier for myself, which is the basis for all of history's worst decisions [...].”
― Tina Fey, Bossypants

“And then the dreams break into a million tiny pieces. The dream dies. Which leaves you with a choice: you can settle for reality, or you can go off, like a fool, and dream another dream.”
― Nora Ephron, Heartburn

“It's always hard to remember love - years pass and you say to yourself, Was I really in love, or was I just kidding myself? Was I really in love, or was I just pretending he was the man of my dreams? Was I really in love, or was I just desperate?”
― Nora Ephron, I Feel Bad About My Neck and Other Thoughts on Being a Woman

“Vera said: 鈥淲hy do you feel you have to turn everything into a story?鈥�
So I told her why.
Because if I tell the story, I control the version.
Because if I tell the story, I can make you laugh, and I would rather have you laugh at me than feel sorry for me.
Because if I tell the story, it doesn't hurt as much.
Because if I tell the story, I can get on with it.”
― Nora Ephron, Heartburn

“Most people overestimate what they can do in one year and underestimate what they can do in ten years.”
― Bill Gates

“If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on.”
― Steve Jobs

“I've come to believe that there exists in the universe something I call "The Physics of The Quest" 鈥� a force of nature governed by laws as real as the laws of gravity or momentum. And the rule of Quest Physics maybe goes like this: "If you are brave enough to leave behind everything familiar and comforting (which can be anything from your house to your bitter old resentments) and set out on a truth-seeking journey (either externally or internally), and if you are truly willing to regard everything that happens to you on that journey as a clue, and if you accept everyone you meet along the way as a teacher, and if you are prepared 鈥� most of all 鈥� to face (and forgive) some very difficult realities about yourself... then truth will not be withheld from you." Or so I've come to believe.”
― Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love

“The flower that blooms in adversity is the rarest and most beautiful of all.”
― Walt Disney Company, Mulan

“When someone tells me "no," it doesn't mean I can't do it, it simply means I can't do it with them.”
― Karen E. Quinones Miller

“Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.”
― George Bernard Shaw

“First they ignore you. Then they ridicule you. And then they attack you and want to burn you. And then they build monuments to you.”
― Nicholas Klein

“If you can't fly then run, if you can't run then walk, if you can't walk then crawl, but whatever you do you have to keep moving forward.”
― Martin Luther King Jr.

“All opinions are not equal. Some are a very great deal more robust, sophisticated and well supported in logic and argument than others.”
― Douglas Adams, The Salmon of Doubt: Hitchhiking the Galaxy One Last Time

“Capital Letters Were Always The Best Way Of Dealing With Things You Didn't Have A Good Answer To.”
― Douglas Adams

“What's so unpleasant about being drunk?"
"Ask a glass of water!”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker鈥檚 Guide to the Galaxy

“The quality of any advice anybody has to offer has to be judged against the quality of life they actually lead.”
― Douglas Adams, The Ultimate Hitchhiker's Guide: Five Complete Novels and One Story

“And she's got brains enough for two, which is the exact quantity the girl who marries you will need.”
― P.G. Wodehouse, Mostly Sally

“He had the look of one who had drunk the cup of life and found a dead beetle at the bottom.”
― P.G. Wodehouse

“Everything in life that鈥檚 any fun, as somebody wisely observed, is either immoral, illegal or fattening.”
― P.G. Wodehouse

“If there is one thing I dislike, it is the man who tries to air his grievances when I wish to air mine.”
― P.G. Wodehouse, Love Among the Chickens