ﾀﾏｻ｢ｻ昀ﾈﾓｮｷｽｷｨ

Eleanor Cummer > Eleanor's Quotes

Showing 1-30 of 105

ﾂｫ previous 1 2 3 4 next ﾂｻ

like

#1

“Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.”
― Albert Einstein

tags: attributed-no-source, human-nature, humor, infinity, philosophy, science, stupidity, universe

147406 likes

like

#2

“Never put off till tomorrow what may be done day after tomorrow just as well.”
― Mark Twain

34473 likes

like

#3

“A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.”
― Steve Martin

tags: humor, obvious, simile

35238 likes

like

#4

“I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.”
― Douglas Adams, The Salmon of Doubt: Hitchhiking the Galaxy One Last Time

tags: deadlines, humor, humour, work, writing

32103 likes

like

#5

“All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt.”
― Charles M. Schulz

tags: chocolate, food, humor

26781 likes

like

#6

“Saying 'I notice you're a nerd' is like saying, 'Hey, I notice that you'd rather be intelligent than be stupid, that you'd rather be thoughtful than be vapid, that you believe that there are things that matter more than the arrest record of Lindsay Lohan. Why is that?' In fact, it seems to me that most contemporary insults are pretty lame. Even 'lame' is kind of lame. Saying 'You're lame' is like saying 'You walk with a limp.' Yeah, whatever, so does 50 Cent, and he's done all right for himself.”
― John Green

tags: humor, nerdfighters

21640 likes

like

#7

“The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.”
― Terry Pratchett, Diggers

tags: humor, open-mind, thinking

21369 likes

like

#8

“Be nice to nerds. You may end up working for them. We all could.”
― Charles J. Sykes, Dumbing Down Our Kids: Why American Children Feel Good About Themselves But Can't Read, Write or Add

tags: humor, misattributed-to-bill-gates, nerd, nerds, work

15566 likes

like

#9

“When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun'.”
― Groucho Marx

tags: friends, humor, jail

10181 likes

like

#10

“Some humans would do anything to see if it was possible to do it. If you put a large switch in some cave somewhere, with a sign on it saying 'End-of-the-World Switch. PLEASE DO NOT TOUCH', the paint wouldn't even have time to dry.”
― Terry Pratchett, Thief of Time

tags: humor

10131 likes

like

#11

“There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.”
― Oscar Levant

tags: genius, humor, insanity

9901 likes

like

#12

“If a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, of what, then, is an empty desk a sign?”
― Laurence J. Peter

tags: misattributed-einstein

8449 likes

like

#13

“Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living, it's a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope.”
― Dr. Seuss

6641 likes

like

#14

“The fact that we live at the bottom of a deep gravity well, on the surface of a gas covered planet going around a nuclear fireball 90 million miles away and think this to be normal is obviously some indication of how skewed our perspective tends to be.”
― Douglas Adams, The Salmon of Doubt: Hitchhiking the Galaxy One Last Time

tags: humor, perspective, science

5847 likes

like

#15

“Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.”
― George Burns

tags: family, happiness, humor

5593 likes

like

#16

“People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.”
― A.A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh

tags: humor, idleness, inspirational

5327 likes

like

#17

“Think left and think right and think low and think high. Oh, the thinks you can think up if only you try!”
― Dr. Seuss

tags: humor, philosophy

5103 likes

like

#18

“I suppose I'll have to add the force of gravity to my list of enemies.”
― Lemony Snicket, The Penultimate Peril

tags: humor

5067 likes

like

#19

“The Guide says there is an art to flying", said Ford, "or rather a knack. The knack lies in learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.”
― Douglas Adams, Life, the Universe and Everything

tags: flight, flying, hg2g, humor

4984 likes

like

#20

“Right now I窶冦 having amnesia and dﾃｩjﾃ� vu at the same time. I think I窶况e forgotten this before.”
― Steven Wright

tags: amnesia, humor, memory

4693 likes

like

#21

“So be sure when you step, Step with care and great tact. And remember that life's A Great Balancing Act. And will you succeed? Yes! You will, indeed! (98 and ﾂｾ percent guaranteed) Kid, you'll move mountains.”
― Dr. Seuss, Oh, the Places You'll Go!

tags: humor, inspirational, success

4221 likes

like

#22

“If you ever find yourself in the wrong story, leave.”
― Mo Willems, Goldilocks and the Three Dinosaurs

tags: fairy-tales, humor, humorous, philosophy, psychology

4122 likes

like

#23

“It is forbidden to kill; therefore all murderers are punished unless they kill in large numbers and to the sound of trumpets.”
― Voltaire

tags: double-standards, ethics, governments, humor, irony, killing, law, mankind, morality, murder, nationalism, nations, war

4053 likes

like

#24

“Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?”
― George Carlin

tags: humor

3894 likes

like

#25

“Some people say, 窶廸ever let them see you cry.窶� I say, if you窶决e so mad you could just cry, then cry. It terrifies everyone.”
― Tina Fey, Bossypants

tags: humor

3704 likes

like

#26

“Sometimes when I'm talking, my words can't keep up with my thoughts. I wonder why we think faster than we speak. Probably so we can think twice.”
― Bill Watterson

tags: calvin-and-hobbes, humor

3636 likes

like

#27

“I'm not going to wear a red dress," she said.
"It would look stunning, My Lady," she called.
She spoke to the bubbles gathered on the surface of the water. "If there's anyone I wish to stun at dinner, I'll hit him in the face.”
― Kristin Cashore, Graceling

tags: humor

3618 likes

like

#28

“Every now and then I like to do as I'm told, just to confuse people.”
― Tamora Pierce, Melting Stones

tags: humor, obedience

3535 likes

like

#29

“Today was good. Today was fun. Tomorrow is another one.”
― Dr. Seuss

3493 likes

like

#30

“Confidence is ignorance. If you're feeling cocky, it's because there's something you don't know.”
― Eoin Colfer, Artemis Fowl

tags: confidence, humor, ignorance, knowledge

3369 likes

ﾂｫ previous 1 2 3 4 next ﾂｻ

All Quotes

Tags From Eleanor窶冱 Quotes

attributed-no-source
human-nature
humor
infinity
philosophy
science
stupidity
universe
obvious
simile
deadlines
humour
work
writing
chocolate
food
nerdfighters
open-mind
thinking
misattributed-to-bill-gates
nerd
nerds
friends
jail
genius
insanity
misattributed-einstein
perspective
family
happiness
idleness
inspirational
flight
flying
hg2g
amnesia
memory
success
fairy-tales
humorous
psychology
double-standards
ethics
governments
irony
killing
law
mankind
morality
murder
nationalism
nations
war
calvin-and-hobbes
obedience
confidence
ignorance
knowledge